Share Your Dragon Ball OC's and Their Back stories!

    Hello people of DBOG, I am curious to see/hear your characters back stories so I made this thread. If I find anything interesting I'll post a video reviewing it on my channel, and if it's really bad I'll re-do/perfect it on the channel (please no Mary Sue's). I'll start with mine!


    The Origins of Blaze.

    Click Here for Blaze's theme song

    Soon to be the perfect fighter, Blaze, a human with unknown parents was born in the universe of Dragon Ball Online, in the Age 1010, about 226 years after Goku defeated Kid Buu. Blaze grew up in Kokkara village, a huge area built by Bulma’s family from generation to generation. Kokkara Village was meant to educate, train, and grow all of the young Majins, Namekians, and Humans into warriors so that they can eventually become time patrollers and aim strong enough to be chosen to kill Mira and Towa once and for all. During Blaze’s youth, he always had good intentions. Blaze always sought to protect, defend, and help those in need, but his peers unfortunately always took advantage of him. After training for 15 years, Blaze has finally come of age to join the time patrollers.



    The night before Blaze was about to be recruited to join the patrollers, he was training his body and soul at a waterfall far away from Kokkara. Blaze suddenly sees one of his classmates, Qad, a ruthless Namekian who always hated Blaze. Qad approached Blaze with intentions to kill him, and ended up beating Blaze to a pulp. Before Qad was about to fly off to leave Blaze to die, he noticed Blaze’s aura glow pink around his wounds, regenerating his scars at a fast rate!



    Little did Blaze know, he had the power of a Majin in him! Blaze took a quick second to look back at all the times he’s always been kind to the namekian Qad. His anger boiled rapidly which then suddenly make his aura switch from gold to rose. You could also notice his eyes transform into a blue-ish color sparking with rage. With this anger, Blaze uncontrollably extended his arm like a majin and slit it through Qad’s chest. With one blow, Qad was dead.

    In shock, Blaze took a look at himself from a reflection of water nearby him and started to notice the potential of his power. Suddenly, a voice from a distance shouted to Blaze’s direction congratulating him. With a quick turn, Blaze noticed the voice came from the descendant of Gohan, Gokel, a time patrol captain. Gokel was able to see the full fight and seeing Blaze as a potential fighter, he asked Blaze to train under him for a year. Blaze went on countless of missions doing Gokel’s tasks, jobs, and favors. After a year of Blaze training himself and serving his superiors, Blaze was now 21 years of age and mastered his majin powers to a perfected level. Before Blaze was about to fly off to another daily time patrol mission, Gokel wanted Blaze to come with him instead to finish Mira and Towa once and for all. Gokel assembled a team of 3 patrollers; Los (an old childhood friend of Blaze), he is an advanced namekian healer, the mysterious Gokel, and Blaze. Towa and Mira were last spotted in the era when Goku first landed on earth as a child, so the team of 3 dispatched to that time period. After landing, Los notices Mira floating around the area baby Goku was supposed to arrive. Without thinking, Los quickly rushes to attack Mira and managed to land one devastating blow.



    Foolish, Los underestimated his opponent and fell to the hands of Mira. Despite being dead, Los fortunately left Mira near death. With an opportunity to strike, Gokel attacked Mira with a devastating punch in the chest leaving him stunned. Gokel then swiftly finished Mira off with a fatal kamehameha leaving Mira dead. After Gokel killed Mira he grabbed a golden ring off of him, placed it on his finger and then unexpedly put on an evil grin on his face. Confused, Blaze questioned Gokel about this and demanded Gokel to explain what the ring was. Gokel suddenly told Blaze how the time patrol system was built only to retrieve the yellow ring called the Universal Ring ring from Towa and Mira in order to claim history for themselves. Gokel also revealed that Blaze is the descendant of Uub and Pan, so he not only has a small percentage of Majin blood, but Saiyan too. Gokel said his plan is to conquer each universe and recreate it how he sees fit. Now that Gokel had no use for Blaze, he used the power of the Universal ring to defeat Blaze in one attack then teleports away. With a miracle, Towa suddenly appears next to to Blaze and heals him back to his full state.



    Blaze quickly got up and out of anger, and the same aura mixed with gold and rose back when he fought Daq once again floated around him. Noticing Blaze’s despair, Towa starts falling in love in him and seeks to help him on his quest for revenge. Towa tells Blaze the only way to defeat Gokel is to ask Shenron to fully bring out his Saiyan and Majin genes in order to unlock his power to his full potential. Taking Towa’s advice, Blaze and Towa take the time machine to the same era Goku was alive during the Tournament of Power in order to collect the dragon balls without being spotted by the Time Patroller. After collecting all 7 balls, Blaze summons Shenron and makes the wish to unlock his full power. After his wish is granted, Blaze had the ability to transform into level beyond a Super Saiyan Blue, instead he had white hair and white eyes and an yellow aura around him with the transformation permanently lasting. Overwhelmed with this power, Blaze’s body deaged back to his teen state, leaving him in a kid-like form.


    Before Blaze and Towa return back to their generation, they finally got married and promised to protect each other for eternity. After Blaze and Towa travel back in time to age 1005, they notice Kokkara village in ruins and Gokel sitting in a throne hovering above the village. With anger, Blaze fights with Gokel for hours upon hours. Blaze eventually obliterates Gokel and claims the universal rings for himself. With everything Blaze experienced, he no longer cares about protecting humanity, but now seeks immortality and total control over it with the Universal ring and his divine power.



    Blaze and Towa then search and gather the super dragon balls to wish for immortality. While Blaze roams the world, he decides to kill off all the God’s one by one, then travels from universe from universe, and suddenly runs into the Legendary Paragon!


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    Didn't honestly feel like spending anymore time on this overall thread, but might aswell give my feedback and own thoughts about your character and backstory. And yeah i know, the point is to write about one's own OC and their background, not to give critique and alike...still, i like where you were going for, but it needs more work, thus i'd like to give my own thoughts on it.

    Now, it's funny how you say "please, no maru sues" despite your character Blaze giving vibes of one itself, i'd still do some re-working and re-writing with his character if i were you, all this sounds rather rushed. You don't need to of course, but you know how it goes, the more effort and time is spent on writing your character, plot etc, the better it will be. I have few characters of my own (not dragonball related), which i have been working for good few years, until they started becoming more likeable. Ofc it differs from one person to another, but you get the idea, rushing things in overall backstory, character or overall progress, isn't that exciting (at least for me).

    I liked the idea of him working with Gokel, who in question turns out evil later on, to Blaze's surprise...personally i like that plot-twist.
    Him teaming up with Towa is also interesting, it could make an alright interaction between the two, unless Blaze is nearly a mute with no
    improvement social interaction or personality-wise. And Towa falling in love with Blaze is very mary sue-ish, while i couldn't personally care,
    it's a bit hard to swallow...is there an actual reason why Towa fell for him? Just because, did he give the aura she's a fan of, or something else?

    The rest of the story seems alright, although to me it still needs a lot of work, everything seems to go way too smoothly as if it was
    Blaze's wet dream, i know you're not trying to write a masterpiece over here, but come now, it needs more work. You got the base, so doing
    some re-work and getting feedback from other people could help at making the (back)story better.


    And i'm aware, there's a big chance you couldn't care less and like the way story is at the moment, and that my feedback is unnecessary and rude, for that i apologise in advance. My main point here was to tell what were my thoughts about it, not probably the thing you wanted, but from my experience, people like it when their story or characters get reviewed or have a response regarding their work, so i aimed to be nice in the end, despite not being good with word choices. Apologies for the wall of text, tried to keep it short.



    BlazingBarrager

    I like what you did with Saphi, and it's perfectly fine for the story being WIP, could say the same about my character,
    eventually we'll be able to work more on such details.

    Name origin was very cool, learned something new (despite will possibly forget tomorrow or day after),
    and i like the idea of name including a pun possibility, considering majority of Dragon Ball characters having pun
    inspired names, it definitely fits in.

    Still bad with the whole age timelines, i assume most happens between the ages 700-800, but alas
    i may have to do some research to get better understanding. That asides, i find her appearance and personality
    good, and wouldn't mind seeing some artwork of her...and her having this signature move "Black hole blitz" sounds
    great. Not only it sounds cool and fits her given personality (silent and calm), i appreciate how you described it in such details,

    both its strenghts and weaknesses, nice job.


    I hope we'll get to hear more about her story, biographic and such eventually, maybe even get possible chapters written
    (probably not), since i for one would not mind reading more about this.

    Here's mine. Not sure how good it is, it's my first DB OC that I've made in years.


    Chicora was the daughter of a young, peaceful Saiyan who ran away from Vegeta a couple weeks before it exploded, who had a boyfriend from another species. She was born around a decade after Planet Vegeta exploded.

    This species was a former warrior race, which had settled down from bloody combat. As a result, they were insanely competitive, and some had become martial artists, with impressive power. Even the ones who didn't fight sported power levels in the low thousands, and the best of them had reached just around a million.

    Chicora, due to being a hybrid, was more competitive, and had great potential. As a kid, she won tournaments, hardly ever losing. As a result, she became quite cocky by the time she was an adult, thinking that she was too good to lose. By that time, she had amassed an impressive power level of around half a million.

    Confident in her power, she had decided to face one of the strongest, which was nearly twice her strength. Obviously, she didn't do well. During the fight, her opponent didn't even hit her, which humiliated the girl.

    Enraged, Chicora would keep fighting, nearly out of energy as her power started rising dramatically. She'd scream as she dashed forward, going Super Saiyan for a couple seconds as her fist collided with her opponent, sending them flying downwards, and injuring them pretty badly.

    Out of energy, she'd immediately lose the state, collapsing next to her opponent, unable to move. So she was left drained, and confused, as she and her opponent were brought to a hospital soon after. After a long rest, she was recovered, immediately going to training.

    She had figured out that only she could go Super amongst her friends, and thus called it the Golden Hybrid state, training to master the state over a long period of time. She figured out she had far surpassed anyone on her planet, and was quickly preparing for Interstellar travel, wanting to find even stronger foes.

    She would arrive on Earth, just in time for Frieza...


    Chicora would land on Earth a mere day before Frieza and King Cold did, but was immediately met with Vegeta, Piccolo, and some of the other warriors, ready to fight.

    Chicora was confused as she saw these weird, powerful people, and would get ready to fight, going Super Saiyan while she did so. Of course, the sudden increase in power surprised Piccolo and some of the others there, and infuriated Vegeta.

    The situation would calm down almost immediately as it became obvious that she didn't really want to fight these strangers. The situation would be explained, and Chicora would learn the true name of her form, the Super Saiyan.

    She did notice that she was stronger than all of the people there, but when she heard there was a guy who surpassed even her, she was interested, and wanted to stay. Luckily, four incredibly strong beings came to Earth tomorrow...

    Upon sensing Frieza, she would rush to where they landed, ready to fight, as she thought it was this Goku fellow. She'd surprise Trunks and Frieza with her appearance, but got immediately destroyed by King Cold, leaving her badly wounded as she watched Trunks effortlessly destroy the two.

    She was immediately fed a senzu bean once the ordeal was done, recovering her as she watched Goku return, and things be explained. Over the course of the 3 years, she trained with Goku, Piccolo, and Gohan, helping them reach higher heights, and getting her power near Goku, even. The Cell saga would mainly continue as normal, with the Time Chamber shenanigans being the most
    She volunteered to go with Piccolo to train, trying to get more of that Super Saiyan power, evolve further. She didn't get far, but she figured there was indeed something beyond, she just needed a push.

    After that, the Cell Saga was pretty much the exact same. After it was all said and done, she returned to her planet to go visit her friends, her family, wanting to bring her family to her new home. But, something unfortunate was going to happen.

    Unfortunately, Bojack was in this timeline, and her planet was his first target over the string of victims. Billions were killed in mere hours, leaving ruins, dead bodies, and one surviving recording of the event.

    Chicora was stunned as soon as she opened the door of her ship, stumbling forward. She fell to her knees, right in front of a bloodied corpse. There was no screaming, just a sobbing, scared girl, and dead bodies littered everywhere.

    Chunks of rock and houses floated upwards, as everything seemed to blur for her. Tears fell, as a familiar power was unleashed, lightning sparking around her. She'd get up, slowly walking through the ruins.

    Over time, her form vanished, and she found one house intact. She'd walk in, barely noticing a video playing right in front of her. It was a news report, and it told her who did this. Bojack's crew. The names and faces filled her mind, as she rushed back to her spaceship, getting ready to go to Earth, and warn her friends.

    She was on time, arriving mere hours before Bojack, and still sobbing. She was put in front of a TV, being comforted by Bulma, before noticing something. Bojack was there. She nearly destroyed the entire house she was in, flying towards the immense power she felt, to Bojack.

    She was going to destroy Bojack with every bit of her power, and then some. She landed near his gang, immediately accessing the explosive power she had reached once before, the Super Saiyan 2. Chicora didn't care that there was a tournament going on, or if people thought they were good, she just wanted to kill him, and get revenge for her people!

    First, she went after the weak ones, wanting to personally work her way up until she destroyed Bojack, and made sure he was humiliated. The three nobody remembered were decimated effortlessly by Chicora, just after they were able to show off their true intentions to the Z Fighters. Bojack and Zangya quickly caught wind of this, and got ready to fight, going Full Power.

    The Saiyan approached, still full of energy. She wasn't quite as strong as Gohan during the Cell Games, but it was still enough to take on Bojack. She eventually saw the two, and rushed forward, aiming a punch straight at Zangya. Bojack was barely fast enough to blast Chicora in the side, and send her a fair distance back. The mere sight of Bojack enraged her, as she charged up blasts in both hands, standing up.

    "Y-you killed my family... everyone I knew... my entire f***ing SPECIES!!!" She yelled, starting to cry. She rushed at Zangya again, blasting Bojack back with one hand before he could interfere, and blasting off Zangya's head, leaving her lifeless corpse to fall to the ground. She then focused on Bojack, flying towards him. "And I'll make sure you take every single bit of pain you caused them!" She yelled, her fist clashing with Bojack's, shockwaves destroying the ground around them.

    But... people were watching the entire thing, everyone was. To them, a random blonde woman had just massacred the aliens who were supposed to show up to their tournament. It terrified them, thinking an incredibly strong being was hellbent on killing them.
    Chicora then grabbed him by the arm, and fired a blast from her mouth, hitting him in the face and stunning him. She took advantage of this short opportunity, breaking his arm with a rather dirty move. She wasn't going to hold back, or be honorable. The creature didn't deserve it. What it did deserve, however, was a swift, painful death. So she paid back the blast from earlier, piercing his body with the blast, and pushing him to the ground. Then, she just slammed his face in, until she was unable to keep up Super Saiyan 2, and she was left, sitting on the bloodied corpse of Bojack. Until her friends went and rushed her away, back to the privacy of West City, to help her recover, and calm down.

    Once they got it through to her that death didn't really matter, she got calm pretty quick, hunting for Dragon Balls. Soon, she was able to restore her planet and species, deciding to go back. Of course, she'd visit, but she was set. She was going to train her people, make her species unstoppable. Heck, might even visit Earth sometimes. So, after some prep, she went back to her planet, and opened up a dojo, training everybody who wanted to be strong. After a couple years, she got a hang of SSJ2, and had trained a lot of people. Unfortunately, this meant she couldn't do much improving, as she was stuck with people way lower than her. But she did do some improving, and she just sort of trained a bunch of people, living out a good life of training, and occasional Earth Visits, picking up techniques like the Fusion Dance, SSJ3, and how to make some sweet ramen. At least before the BoG Saga occurs, as that is a whole other can of worms for a whole other time.


    So yeah, wrote it. Not sure if it's any good, give me critiques on my writing, character, or story.

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